Where I have been? All about Pregnancy so Far.. (long post)

I know it has been a while since I wrote on here. Well the short answer is I am pregnant! I have been SO tired and sick for the past 2 1/2 months. I have pretty much been sleeping all the time and I could barely sit up for any amount of time. I just found out that we are having a son! I am nervous and excited in equal parts. This is my first child. I love children but I'm not super into babies. I have always wanted to have children but I was not able to because of my mental and physical illnesses. We waited a lot longer than I would have wanted to, but it doesn't matter now. Right before I got pregnant I was actually looking into adopting from Korea or China's special needs program. (These children have disabilities but I was mostly interested in clef palette or lip, autism or albinism or learning disabilities) I did a lot of research and unfortunately it was just too expensive. The average adoption from these areas is 35,000$ or more. It was just a little too high for our family to afford. I have been feeling better for about a year and a half now, and my plan was to adopt early 2020. I was heartbroken and it was a very upsetting thing for me. But I realized I felt comfortable with possibly having my own children. But I also planned to start trying early 2020 if we decided we for sure wanted that.
 
I was more interested in adoption due to my mental illnesses, I was afraid a child I would have would possibly have schizophrenia and the thought of that was very hard on me. I have been talking to my psychologist and psychiatrist and they assure me, I will be able to help my child with any mental problems. They told me I will know what signs to look for, and I will be more sensitive to their needs. Obviously this is still a worry for me, and I question the fairness of bringing a child into that life. But this was not a planned pregnancy and I could never give him up. I am going to talk about my symptoms here in case someone is having these symptoms as well and need to know its normal and ok. Obviously most of you may not be interested in this, so just stop reading here.

Finally Writing...

I have been holding off writing this for a few weeks. I decided to start this blog because one night I had insomnia, and I obsessed over how much I used to love Livejournal. Remember Livejournal? I like Tumblr a lot but; I wanted a space to write in and put my thoughts out into the universe. So after a period of weeks I am finally writing something here.

I am a girl, I have a husband I love so much...and I am a crazy cat lady. I have five cats: Ivan (black 14), Dick Sargent (tabby 10), Loki (black 7), Lillian Gish (tuxedo 6), and the baby Mozart (black 1.5). My husband and I met in high school, we have been married three years this autumn. My husband is a software engineer. I have two sisters who are married, and they each have one child, a boy and a girl. My husband has two brothers that are pretty much the same ages as my sisters. His middle brother has a wife, and they are having a baby this summer. My dad died in 2016 from a lung illness, my mom is still fine.

I love painting, writing, drawing, photography, reading, listening to, and making music and cooking. I will probably mostly talk about these things a lot on this blog. I'm obsessed with cinema, I like almost every genre, and I watch movies all the time. One of my favorite dates is going to the cinema with my husband. I obsessively collect media just like everyone these days. I watch a lot of YouTube as well, too much lol. I also LOVE video games, I am mostly into story- driven titles (*cough* Dragon Age *cough*) but I also play some MMO's.